If birds aren’t enough, now your dog can tweet too!

I’ve never been that curious as to what my dog’s really saying. I’m pretty sure Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoon figured it out. However, I guess most people don’t think like I do. Or at least enough people to be profitable. Mattel has a new invention expected to hit stores in Fall that allows your dog to tweet on his very own Twitter page. Puppy Tweets is a small plastic device you can attach to your pet’s collar that syncs to a USB device you attach to your computer. Then you just create a Twitter page for your dog and voilà! Your dog will now update you to his activities. If he’s running in circles, it might have a tweet saying “I finally caught that tail I’ve been chasing and…OOUUUCHH!”

Maybe it’s just my dog Minnie, but this device seems phenomenally useless. Random tweets are boring enough when written by people, but do you really want to know the exact minute your dog pooped in your azaleas? If I’m ever excessively curious about what Minnie is doing, I sit down and reconsider my life because something is clearly wrong to make me less interesting than a dog. Though I suppose those “gangstas” can finally keep up on where the bitches at.